Feeding Anxiety to Your Kids

Feeding Anxiety to Your Kids:

Exploring Parental Anxiety and Its Intergenerational Transmission

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What is this book all about?
Table of Contents
What the Readers Say?
About the Author

What is this book all about?

Are you unknowingly passing your anxiety to your children? Have you ever wondered how your parents’ anxiety may have influenced you?

Discover the hidden ways anxiety is transmitted across generations.
Uncover the critical times and stages when children are most vulnerable.
Discover your innate mind power and explore deliberate strategies to break free from the cycle of anxiety.

Feeding Anxiety to Your Kids uncovers the often-overlooked phenomenon of how parental anxiety is transmitted to children, profoundly shaping their emotional and psychological development. Drawing from extensive clinical experience with adolescents struggling with severe anxiety, panic attacks, and self-harming behaviors, this book reveals how parental anxiety can subtly but significantly influence children’s well-being and affect family dynamics across generations. This publication offers a well-rounded understanding and multifaceted nature of anxiety. By integrating cutting-edge research in evolutionary psychology, neurobiology, and psychodynamics with real-life examples from clinical practice, the book provides readers with deep insights into the origins of parental anxiety and its far-reaching consequences. It highlights critical life stages—pregnancy, early childhood, and adolescence—when children are particularly vulnerable to absorbing anxiety. The book examines how dysregulated behaviors like overprotection, hypervigilance, catastrophic thinking, emotional unavailability, and inconsistent parenting unintentionally perpetuate anxiety, while also exploring the broader intergenerational and multigenerational impacts. Feeding Anxiety to Your Kids offers a hopeful and proactive approach, emphasising that effective strategies and tools are available to break the cycle of anxiety. It serves as a call to deliberate action for parents, caregivers, therapists, and health professionals, providing practical strategies, actionable insights, and encouragement to nurture emotionally secure and resilient families. Whether you are a parent navigating personal challenges, a professional supporting family, or an individual seeking to understand anxiety’s complexities, this book delivers a comprehensive blend of knowledge and optimism for fostering a healthier, brighter future for generations to come.

Table of Contents

	What is This Book All About?	v
	Table of Contents	vii
	Acknowledgements	ix

Part I: Setting the Scene
1	Introduction and Book Roadmap	1
2	Observing Anxious Parents in Action	19
3	Understanding Anxiety: Forms and Types	27
Part II: Conceptual Background
4	Human Vulnerability as Infants	37
5	Anxiety as a Genetic Formation	43
6	Anxiety as Learned Behavior	49
7	Anxiety From an Evolutionary Perspective	55
8	How We Perceive Evolutionary Threats	65
Part III: Display and Transmission
9	The Behavioural Display of Anxiety	75
10	The Anxiety Transmission Process	83
Part IV: Pregnancy, Birth, and Early Years
11	Anxiety During Pregnancy	91
12	Anxiety During the Birth Window	97
13	Postpartum Anxiety	109
14	The Mother as the Primary Caregiver	117
Part V: Early Roots of Childhood Anxiety
15	Planting Early Emotional Seeds of Anxiety	127
16	Critical Stages of Vulnerability for Children	133
17	Maladaptive Attachment Types	139
Part VI: Family Dynamics
18	Intergenerational Family Dynamics	149
19	Anxious Parents and Unfulfilled Dreams	155
20	Relationship Breakdowns and Anxiety	163
21	Family Violence and Its Impact on Children	169
Part VII: Breaking the Cycle
22	The Natural Healing Process of Anxiety	177
23	Deliberate Actions to Overcome Anxiety	187
24	Critical Stages for Intervention	201
25	Looking Forward: Concluding Comments	205
Appendices
1	Bibliography	213
2	About the Author	231
2	Author’s Psychotherapy Practice	232

What the Readers Say

"A compelling and insightful read that unpacks the subtle yet profound ways parental anxiety shapes a child’s emotional development. A must-read for parents, caregivers, and professionals seeking to break the cycle and foster resilience in future generations."

"A brilliant fusion of clinical wisdom, research, and practical strategies. This book sheds light on the unseen transmission of anxiety across generations and offers a hopeful path toward healing. Essential reading for any parent or therapist."

"Deeply engaging and evidence based, Feeding Anxiety to Your Kids provides a roadmap for understanding and addressing intergenerational anxiety. An invaluable resource for anyone looking to raise emotionally healthy and secure children."

"An essential read for young couples and new parents navigating the emotional challenges of pregnancy and early parenthood. Feeding Anxiety to Your Kids reveals how parental anxiety can shape a child's development from the very start—and offers empowering strategies to foster emotional security and resilience from infancy.”

About the Author

Dr. Bandara Bandaranayake completed his B.Ed. (Honors) Degree and MPhil Degree at the University of Colombo, Sri Lanka, and earned his PhD from Monash University, Australia, on a Monash Graduate Scholarship. After completing his first degree, Dr. Bandaranayake joined the Ministry of Education in Sri Lanka, where he served as a secondary school teacher before advancing to senior administrative roles in the Education Service. Following his PhD and a brief tenure at Monash University, he transitioned to the public service. Over the course of three decades, he held senior positions at the Department of Internal Affairs (New Zealand), the Department of Innovation, Industry and Regional Development (Australia), and the Department of Education and Early Childhood Development (Australia). Dr. Bandaranayake’s research interests span evolutionary psychology, educational psychology, cultural anthropology, educational governance, ethics and integrity, public sector reforms, and public policy. He has authored several books and numerous journal articles in these fields. Currently, Dr. Bandaranayake is engaged in psychotherapy practice and independent research, continuing to contribute to his areas of expertise with a focus on both theoretical insights and practical applications.

Email: bandaranayakeb@gmail.com